Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
