atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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