Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
