I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize