i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh god it's open bar.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
