Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
being pregnant is like rehab
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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