I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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