DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
