He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
