we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just gargled with NyQuil
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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