I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Randomize
