I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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