i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
