I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
