dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
