i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
