Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
