Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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