you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
