I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
