who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Actions speak louder than pants.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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