in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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