Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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