I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
