so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
