She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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