3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
