took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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