New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
