I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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