I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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