Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize