I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
