Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
