Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
