Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.