Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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(310): View more from California

My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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(515): View more from Iowa

i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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(616): View more from Michigan

he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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(425): View more from Washington

I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

(1-425): View more from Washington

I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?

(803): View more from South Carolina

Yeah, why?

(864): View more from South Carolina

The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries

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