Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.