I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
