dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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