Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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