she was so not down for the gang bang
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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