Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
