when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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