Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
