You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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