every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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