Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
