I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
