its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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