who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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