On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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