can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
