Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
