i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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