So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
two words: eviction party
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I touched a dick in church today
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
