Do you still have your period?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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