p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize