I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
