Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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