I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize